I made it back to Minneapolis but I feel ashamed.

The computer told me my last post was a year ago. This was after I decided to make a tumblr for my first time. I logged in with all the things i wanted and pressed start account. It brought me to this page and I basicly gasped. I’m living in Minneapolis in my own appartment with Huzen. At what point did I stop writing? I feel like an idiot almost.

I have deffinantly not came back around to Nick Nessel 100%. Im still putting friends and partys’ before school. 

I have decided I am going to get into school. Within the week. Will I?


The title expresses the only way I can share what I’m feeling. My body is tense, I’m nervous and this is about to get all too real for me.

I’ve hoped and prayed for a second chance, who hasn’t? I’ve battled myself over my lifestyle, friends and addictions for quite some time. Not to say that I haven’t had an awesome time in the past 6 years and that I don’t love to death most of the people that I know but more like I’m so ready for the bigger and better things. The things I always knew I would do.
I found out today that my start date for job corps is the 11th or 18 of january. I’m going to get that chance to finish school, study in something that I have always wanted too and live where I have always dreamed of. I’m shaking. I’m so ready to further my life and dreams.

I’m going to miss my parents and friends immensely. I’m going to miss Minnesota, I’m NOT GOING TO MISS THE REST OF THIS WINTER though. I’m going to miss being around people that care about me. I’m going to miss knowing so many people and having all the connections that I do. I’m going to miss the beauty of our city and all it really has to offer. I’m going to miss home.

I wish I had more of a grasp of what’s really happening.

My wanted change is on the horizon?

Its weird that I’m going to be able to go after all my dreams in just a little due time, I couldn’t be more excited. It’ll be hard, going from this lifestyle to a more responsible and chalenging environment away from everything I have ever know. Truth is I’m a little scared. I’m scared that I might blow my chance to do and accomplish all the things I have always talked about but I am ready for my opportunity.

I hope I’m able to learn the advanced basics of programming and networking and apply it immediatly to a job after graduation and keep the job for many years. I want to meet people and become familiar with companies and events in the area. It would be nice to find a cool group of kids that I can relate with and hang out with, I’m curious what LA night life will be like…

I’m deffinantly going to take advantage of the area I’m in to start something, whatever it is.

If only my voice could really be heard

You ever wonder why you’re just a normal person? You feel so much excitement for life and for the people of the world, you understand life in some odd ways and want to make a difference. I don’t want to just live my life by the norm, I want to create, learn, grow and become everything I am. I want people in 100 or 1000 years to benifit from something I do while I’m still here. What an honor that would be. God willing, ill do it.

The end of all people…

People fill their tanks up everyday. People buy plastic everyday. Demand something, drive it somewhere, and consume it. Look around you and tell me what you see…

The human race is using oil too fast and it is going to have a great effect on us. All we need to hear is some mainstrean news channel tell us that there is enough oil for 100 more years to come and we’ll once again go on with our day doing the same shit as we always have. Your computer, cell phone, tires, shoes, almost everything is made of an oil product.

We reached our oil peak in the mid 70’s, meaning we have used half our oil basicly. Oil production will never be as much as it was then.

As new energys were used starting in around 1500 AD more people were being born. Energy let’s us do things and in fact is the key factor in population. When oil was first used the population for the first time went from a slow increase to a spike and has not stopped…but it will stop when we run our of oil, out of energy…

I have always been interested in green and clean energy. I have always wanted to do something to help each living thing on this planet. That’s what I plan to do.

Your welcome, in advance.

An updated version of myself…

Same old, same old but with a flicker of growth. You don’t realize how great something is untill its taken away. I should have done so much more with my life when I had the chance to back in Minneapolis. I stopped going to school, I wasn’t putting in a super effort to find a job, I put friends and partying in front of needed things to do. But don’t we all? I just want another fresh start as an 18 year old back where my heart lies. I want to finish school and work on getting a long term job. I want to do good and that is the update. I’m done sometimes wanting to do good things and further myself, I always want that now.

Taking my throne back…

A misconception about me is that I don’t ever execute any of my master plans. The truth is I’m always getting one step closer everyday. I have a life ahead of me that some only dream about and I will never think otherwise. In the coming month and year I will be following a plan eighteen years in the making.

When you’ve flown as far as you can, you’re half way there.
Ok white boy

Ok white boy

The American in Me

Fights, never gives up and is the best at all things. The human in me cares, understands and hurts.

I have been brainwashed by the media. There are millions of ads and propoganda in America aimed with its cross hairs directly at me. I see Ipads and exspensive bottled water and I think “I am the best if I have these.” The weird thing is, that I still want an Ipad and that bottle of water. I want all these material objects to further my life in a more convenient way but to also have the best thing out there. My point in America we are raised to try to be better than others. I’m not saying its a good thing but I don’t think its all negitive impact. I just want to be a good person, do something great with my life, make a lot of money and die happy with people I care about along for the whole ride. America help me. God help me.